Friday, January 21, 2011


It's Friday. Friiiiday. FRIIIIIIDAY! Can you feel me? Do you WANT to feel me? I'm soft!

My last post was about the mystery brunette that Rabbit and I fell head over heels infatuated with at the KUFF party.

She will forever remain a mystery.

It seems something about our situation must not work for her. She isn't returning emails or texts. At first I was really sad. Now I realize that it's for the best. Perhaps her home life didn't allow for this type of arrangement. Maybe the situation was too crazy for her. You never know. I just wish she would have mailed back to explain. There was such an amazing connection. SAD FACE!

Underneath it all, I really am a softie who just wants to be loved. Awww. Tender.

Rabbit and I had an aaaaamazing night last night. We talked. No sex. Talking. We hammered out all the details of our relationship. Usually he hammers me. Ba da bing! We kept our hands off each other. We held one another. We read through a poly book for some advice. We agreed that right now we will explore our options as a couple. No solo dating for the time being. To my surprise, Rabbit is not ready. He said, "I am head over heels for you. You are my world. You are my life partner. I don't want to do anything to hurt us." That and he admitted he's still honeymooning with me. He's only interested in a woman he can have a strong connection with. No desire to just get laid or casual dating. He wants it all.

Rabbit also admitted he's in love with Pussy Pie. The girl. And the dish. haha. PP writes for The Collection. She is a ten year girlfriend of his. And one of mine. I adore her. She is... amazing. Funny. Smart. Sexy. She's a poly married girl with kids who lives four hours away. Rabbit realized she means a lot to him. When he told me he loved her, I hugged him. I was happy for him. Not at all jealous. Happy. She would be an ideal other girlfriend for him, if she lived closer. Maybe one day... For now, we will deal with only seeing her a few times a year.

There's SO MUCH to talk about BUT we've had two snow days in a row. Two days of the kids being home and bored. I will now go entertain them by organizing races on their butts down the hallway. The first one to scoot to the kitchen and back wins. BONUS- it tires them out so they will be keen on resting a bit. Or early bedtime??

Tonight my husband is home with them so I can go to a pajama party with my friends. I'll be sure to update what happened soon!!


  1. "Do you WANT to feel me? I'm soft!"

    And satin-y!! *grin* Textures are fun.

    You and Rabbit look wonderful together.

    -"Do you WANT to feel me? I'm soft!"

    And satin-y!! *grin* Textures are fun.

    You and Rabbit look wonderful together. It was fun to see.


  2. Hi, Charlotte. I've really enjoyed reading your blogs. This one as well as The Collection. I started educating myself on The Beautiful Kind and found you all there. In this search to understand other people, and therefore myself better, I'm left with some questions and I sincerely hope you'll take them in the spirit they're offered. In reading about Rabbit's and the Rev.'s search for a partner with whom to make a connection, and not only sexually, while maintaining you as primary. Sidenote. The laptop isn't working so I'm typing this on my phone. Editing is impossible so enjoy my run on sentences and stream of consciousness prose. anyway, why would a woman lay her heart out there to be hurt knlwing that she would never be a full partner. The Rev even said he would be willing to close your marriage down if that were necessary. I applaud his commitment to you and the kids. But where would that leave the other woman? The same with Rabbit. Why would someone put her heart out there? I understand that there is no guarantee whenever you start a relationship. The chance of getting hurt is always there. But the dream is that you find someone who will make it work with you no matter what. I seems that you were lucky enough to find that twice. Bt a woman entering into this successful dynamic has no hope of achieving that. Why would she do it?

  3. In response to the above comment about "Why would someone risk their heart?"

    I'm a poly woman... and I date knowing that the relationship could possibly end at any time. I'm okay with that.

    For a while, I dated a monogamous (single) guy, knowing he would probably never live the poly life, and might find a monogamous lady and go with her instead. And still I said yes to the relationship. And for 3 wonderful years, I loved him, and things were fun. And then... he found a monogamous lady, who wasn't comfortable with me, and he went with her. And I missed him, and yes, I cried. And I was still glad for the time we'd had, the richness of that love, and the wonderful time we had. We remain good friends. I wish them well and have no ill will towards them. (Actually I'm kind of proud of him finding and pursuing what he wanted, as he's a pretty shy guy.)

    I date knowing that a relationship may not last. But its success isn't measured by its duration. It's the quality of time spent. It's the way that intimacy and communication and the hard work of relationships can help people grow and mature and discover themselves and expand their experiences. It's the beautiful gift of really getting to know someone personally and deeply, and be a part of their lives for a while.

    According to the CDC, 6.8% of the population marries, and 3.4% get divorced. Why do people fall in love and marry if roughly half of those will end?

    There must be more to the experience than judging it just by its ending. Perhaps the value is in the experiencing, the journey itself, and not the endpoint.

    I date in a variety of ways. I mostly date good friends. It becomes a way of expressing affection and joy and intimacy, without considering sexuality "off limits" as a way of expressing that tenderness. With good friends, I can enjoy anything from friends with benefits to casual deeper relationship, to a solid relationship limited mostly by distance or schedules... to something deep that becomes a major part of my daily life. So, someone can fit in anywhere along that spectrum, and I enjoy the opportunity to relate.

    Put simply - it's fun. It's beautiful. It's love of one sort or another. It's a way of expressing affection and enjoying another's company. And I don't worry about eventually being hurt by it. I'm a "big girl," I can pick myself up and recover and move on. Some relationships end abruptly or painfully, but most fade into a lasting friendship and make a gentler transition.

    My heart isn't thin glass that will shatter at the slightest strain. I'm sturdy. I can open my heart and love deeply, even knowing I am going to lose someone... and simply enjoy each day for what it is. And when the time comes, I will grieve the loss and accept it as best I can and then... some days or months later... I will love again. And again. And again. Because the wonder and the joy and the depth always matter more than the few days of endings, changes, transitions.

    - poly gal for 15 years and so happy with it