Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The realities of dating poly parents

Yesterday was stressful. The oldest child stayed home from school with the fever/pukes. The youngest children were to be in their first ever school play. How the hell could I be in two places at once?

My mom came to the rescue, offering to watch the oldest child at her place while I went to the play. I went into super frantic mom mode, rushing to get everyone in place, including myself. This is not an easy task, because my mom is the hyper worried type and tends to screw up how to take care of sick kids. She piles a feverish kid with blankets, which just heats them up more. Gives too much or not enough medicine. Feeds a puking kid a sandwich with lettuce. All things I can stand there and ask her nicely not to do. I know she's watching my child for free, but please oh please can you just follow MY directions until I get back?

Of course she did all of the above and snapped at me when I picked up my child. "She is too sick to be out!" Ok but what am I supposed to do? I had to see my little ones in their play.. arrrgggg!! And of course as I walked my child into the house, she puked all over the yard. Lettuce. Of course.

I get my girls into the house and the youngest one sinks to the floor and squeaks out that she doesn't feel well. 103 fever. Her turn! So one girl is dripping with puke and crying. The other girl is starting to cry because she is feverish. The third girl is crying because she saw her sister throw up and it, "scared her out of the crap!"

Which is exactly when my husband called from work, wanting to know if he could go to his girlfriend's house that night to hang out. BUt wait .. she has a class on Monday so I told Rabbit yes to hanging out tonight and he wants to see a movie....

Communication breakdown.

My husband said her class was canceled but it's ok, we can work this out. You go out and she can come over to our place. Huh? What? Hold on! I can't even think right now. Sick kids. Puke mess. Calm the crying. Clean up the mess. Get everyone comfy and happy (?). Oh wait a second. My clients are frantic, needing answers about projects. Let me take care of them and... hold on... someone is crying. And someone else is throwing up... And I need to start dinner. And OF COURSE the dog peed all over the rug.


I gave up at that point. Yes, I wanted to get out of the house for a few hours and get a break and see a movie. But I also knew I would be too worried about the kids to relax. So I sent a text to Rabbit to see if he wouldn't mind just hanging out with me at the house instead.I called my husband and said no really, it's cool. Go to her place tonight.

To Rabbit's credit, he is VERY understanding about last minute plan changes due to kiddo issues. He's dated moms before and I am grateful for those women because they prepared him for MY schedule demands, hah! He came over. My husband put the kids to bed, then left. Rabbit and I sat on the couch and attempted to watch Weeds while pausing the show every five minutes so I could run upstairs and tend to sick kids.

Again, Rabbit was so easy going. He came upstairs to help. The other two had finally fallen asleep. We took the smallest child into bed with us and let her ramble in her feverish state. She said some hilarious things. She said some tender things. "Rabbit, do you want to move in here and live with us forever and ever?" He stroked her hair and answered her questions. It was a sweet moment.

Husband came home at 10pm and took the littlest one and tucked her into bed and fell asleep next to her. Rabbit and I finished our episode of Weeds and then went upstairs and listened to some music and fell asleep.

No, not sexy. Not wild. But THAT is more of what it is like to be poly than the other hot and wild adventures I've written about so far. Communication. Scheduling. Changing plans. Attempting to make it work for everyone involved.

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